Addendum

Actually, can we go back to the fridge? Because it's weird. It looks like a normal fridge, except that the logo in the corner looked kind of blurred and unidentifiable. Also, there was no hande, no seams, and it didn't have a power cord. One morning the old Frigidaire was sitting in the corner destroying the ozone layer, and the next, the new fridge was there.

I ended up being late for work because it took me so long to figure out how to open the damn thing (you have to press your palm on the middle of the door). Which is the other thing. The first time I opened it, it was filled with nothing but beer and spam. This is actually not unusual, except that a couple of weeks after I moved in with John, I laid down the law, and reserved the bottom shelf for actual food products. Usually, the top three shelves are filled with the crap that he subsists on, and the bottom one is filled with the stuff that I eat. In this case, I'd stashed some really decent bacon, and a carton of free-range, organic eggs. They were gone.

Now, I was hungry and running late, and John had thrown away my bacon, so I started to swear up a blue streak. Suddenly, the fridge door slammed. I jumped back. Just as I was thinking that it'd been a freak breeze, the thing started to hum. It kinda shook for about ten seconds, and then, swear to god, made this little 'ding!' noise, and opened. All that was left inside was a rasher of bacon, a carton eggs, some good wheat bread, and a pat of butter. I made breakfast, and went to work, because I was running late, but it's weird, right?